Out of the mouths of babes...

God knew what this day would hold.

This morning, during some precious and rare play time with the Fearsome Foursome (Cake, Jacob, Caro, and Everett), Chaselyn blessed my socks off with her rendition of "Trust and Obey".

It has become the anthem of this day, and I'm grateful to have such strong promises drifting through my mind in the moments of action and the moments of reflection.


When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

Trust and obey, for there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies,
But His smile quickly drives it away;
Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear,
Can abide while we trust and obey.

Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
But is blessed if we trust and obey.

But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.

Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet,
Or we'll walk by His side in the way;
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.

Doing my best to live these commands,
MaryAnn

Night of Nights

I'm in the night of nights.

As my precious daughter's little body wretches in my arms, battling a vile and mysterious toxin, my own heart wretches as I battle fear and grief for my dearest and loveliest and most remarkable friend.

Caroline is weak and weary, just as I am. She folds herself into me, allowing me to carry her physical burden. I long to feel God's presence and do the same.

Christopher can't help... he is asleep on the bathroom floor, too fatigued to move back to the bed for proper rest. He was the first to fall victim 8 hours ago. Eight very long hours.

I was awake when Stanton called. B's body is just too tired to fight the infection in her lungs AND continue to breathe on her own. She has labored for days, and she needs rest. It's time for the ventilator.


I couldn't ask my questions. Just as Stanton was sharing his thoughts on this next step, I heard Caroline cry out for help. This organism is uncaring and relentless.

Caroline must have heard us talking. The weight of her illness is too much to bear, and all of her resolve to give me space has crumbled. The questions keep coming, like a rolling thunder that vacillates between rumble and roar.

Her questions are tender and thoughtful... and private. I'll guard them like treasures for as long as she'll allow.

It's Christmas Eve. Our need for a Savior has never been more real to me. There is darkness all around, and my heart is crying out for Light. I'm in the night of nights. But tomorrow, when the sun rises, I will celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. I will celebrate the Light of the World.

Just as Caroline understands that she'll feel no relief until her body empties itself of the virus that infiltrated her body, my heart continues to wretch in pain and empty itself of any thoughts/doubts/fears that are toxic to my faith in the Almighty God.

Heavenly Father, I'm chasing your Light in this night of nights, in this world of darkness. Please pour your love out on us. Yours forever, MaryAnn

Everett - 4 months!

Everett's 4th month came with even more excitement, travel, visitors, and introductions than the previous months... and that's really saying something!

The weekend after his first trip to Texas (which you can ready about here), our dear friend Denka came for a visit.  Everett was a superfan of Denka (what baby isn't?!), and he enjoyed listening to her laugh.  We went to the corn maze and pumpkin patch again, and he really loved it.  It was such fun to watch him as he felt the cool breeze on his cheeks, listened to the corn rustling, and felt of the corn stalks in his hands.  He's such a curious and pensive baby!

Halloween was really fun and sweet for our family.  We dressed Everett in a little giraffe costume, and we took him trick-or-treating for a couple of houses.  It was really too cold for him to stay out very long, but we are falling more and more in love with our neighbors each day, and I really wanted to at least take him around to the houses closest to us.  We were out for about 20 minutes, and he was such a charming baby to everyone we saw.  Caroline enjoyed it as well... it turns out that people were willing to give her candy for BOTH of them.  Not too shabby...

On Everett's 4 month birthday we were, yet again, on the road.  (It's awfully tough to do monthly updates when you're not at home :/)  We flew back to Texas in mid-November for Brandi' Celebration/Prayer Service.  It was a super special event, and I'm so glad the God made a way for all four of us to go together.

It also happened, in God's mysterious but beautiful timing, that my grandfather (Mr. E) went to be with my Meme in heaven that same week.  So we were able to be at his funeral in Runaway Bay on the morning of the 10th, and then drove straight to Waco for B's party that evening.  (We put almost a thousand miles on the rental car in 4 days!)

On his 2nd trip to Texas, Everett was able to see Granddad, Cathy, Wesley, Nana, and Pop when we landed.  And eat at Braum's and MiPueblo... can't forget that!

We headed to Waco, where he met the FABULOUS Miss Frances and Miss Marty (Caroline's preschool teachers).

On to the Greer's, where we played with Stanton, Brandi, Chaselyn, Jacob, and Debbie and David (Stanton's parents).  The highlight of the evening was introducing Christopher and Everett to my precious friend Alycia.  Alycia is actually one of B's oldest friends from Arkansas, and we met for the first time last summer at the hospital in Dallas.  Let me tell you, B knows how to pick 'em.  ;)  Al is one of the most beautiful people I've ever known in my life, and I count my blessings to be in her circle.  (I think I need to devote whole post to the greatness that is "Al".)

We turned around and drove BACK to North Texas on Friday night to stay in Bridgeport.  Saturday morning Everett was able to meet all of my cousins and other extended family at the funeral.  I love my family to bits and pieces, and our time together that day was awesome.  So much love, so much laughter, so much devotion to our wonderful grandparents.

After the funeral we darted BACK to Waco for B's party.  Talk about a Par-tay!  Everett hung out in the childcare room while we praised Jesus and celebrated His love for us.  We met about 120 of Brandi's closest friends and family (!), and Everett was pooped.

Not so tired that he couldn't enjoy some giggles with his cousins at McD's.  Chris' family were unbelievably sweet and gracious, and offered to meet us at the McD's next to our hotel so that we could visit, Everett could meet his aunts and uncles, and we could stumble across the parking lot to our beds when it was all over.

Sunday morning, Everett enjoyed watching me eat my Texas-shaped waffle. He's a complete snuggle bug, so I just held him and nibbled on my birthday waffle until it was time to check out.

Everett was a great traveler - from Waco we drove to Gorman (by way of Wiseman House Chocolates, of course) and spent the evening resting at my sweet mama's house.

Everett enjoyed his time with Ladeeda VERY much, and so did we.  In fact, when Everett woke up at 6:30am on Monday morning, Ladeeda was keen to share some morning cuddles and grins with him so that we could sleep in.  It was HEAVEN.

Everett's 4 month appointment actually happened a couple of days after we returned.  I was surprised to learn that Everett actually lost four ounces between is 2 month and 4 month appointments.  He seemed to be eating and thriving in all other ways, so I didn't really realize that he had stopped growing.  Our sweet pediatrician pointed out that, even with the loss of weight, Everett was still in the 50th percentile.  (He had been in the 99th and 97th percentiles at his previous visit.)  So, for now, I'm trying to stay calm, keep my milk supply up as much as possible, decrease my anxiety (yeah, right), and nurse him as often as he'll allow.   We'll go back in December to weigh him again and see how he's doing.

Everett - 3 months!

Yay!

To celebrate Everett's 3 month birthday, we splashed out on a airplane trip!  We should all be so lucky!

It's true... I couldn't post on his actual 3 month birthday because on September 10th, Christopher and Caroline dropped Andrea, Everett, and myself off at the airport to fly to Texas.  Andrea spent Caroline's birthday with us in Indianapolis, and then we all headed back to Texas so that I could go with Brandi and Stanton to her appointment with Dr. Maher.

(Obviously this is coming a couple of months late, so I'll do my best to remember that month using our photos and a couple of my journal entries.)

Everett,
Your third month was super important!  It's the month you started a major romance with your teacher at daycare, Miss Jacquie.

It's also the month you stopped growing like a weed - I suppose the 99th percentile just wasn't your thing anymore. 

Let's see, your third month saw you ALMOST steal the show at your sister's birthday party.  (She didn't really mind so much. ;))

We introduced you to Aunt Nonnie, and you decided that her arms was your favorite place to nap.

You went the pumpkin patch for the first time - it was super cold and windy, but you used the opportunity to snuggle with Mommy, and I was thankful for that... you're my little hot pota-tuh.

You managed to survive your first trip to Claires...thank goodness.  It was a little overwhelming, but you seem to enjoy hanging out with your sister, regardless of where that takes you!

The month culminated with your first trip to Texas!  You spent some quality time with Granddad, played with a new friend Caleb, made lovey eyes and smiles at B for hours on end, listened to Chaselyn and Jacob sing a THOUSAND songs to you, met Uncle Chris and Mallory and Hunter and HaleighRae, and watched me melt into a meal at MiPueblo.  (You even forgave me for making all sorts of embarrassing yummy noises.)

And, finally, it was time to head back home to Indianapolis.  Some last minute snuggles from Aunt Kayce and Ladeeda before your second flight!

Everett - 5 months!

Spending this quiet day at home with my littlest love... who is FIVE months old now!

I must say, this was my favorite time of babyhood with Caroline, and it proving to be pretty divine with Everett as well.

It's such a great time for us.  Everett is a happy, content, communicative... and still immobile! =)  He is SO happy and content all day that he doesn't have much motivation to do things like rollover or sit up.  I can look at his face and imagine him thinking "Why go anywhere else when the view is so great from where I'm at?"

While he's not rolling over yet, his fine motor skills are becoming sharper every single day.  It's been a joy to see him learn so much each and every day.  He quite enjoys grabbing his plush toys, his rubber football, his elephant blankie, and most of all... his sister's ponytail!  Successfully grasping Caroline's ponytail can illicit a squeal of delight that isn't matched by any other excitement we could ever provide.  Luckily, she is equally delighted to be the object of his focus and attention.

Our days pretty predictable.  Everett has just started sleeping longer periods again.  He had been sleeping VERY well... until October.  Within one month we made two trips to Texas (where we slept a new place each night), changed time zones 4 times, and we saw the end of daylight savings time.  My poor boy just couldn't figure out where and when he should be sleeping.  Luckily, we're getting back into the groove and he slept ALL night last night!  Woot!   He still loves to be swaddled, but the swaddling contraptions are all too small, so he usually sleeps in his pj's, a fleece sleepsack, and then I use one of B's magic blankets to swaddle his arms before I lay him down.

Speaking of the MAGIC blankets (a set of six muslin blankets), Everett has definitely developed an affinity for them. Caroline never had a blanket or lovie that she took everywhere, and I was really happy with her independence in that area.  Everett is a totally different story.  He doesn't "need" to have a blanket.. his left thumb serves the self-soothing purpose just fine.  But if he's a little tired or uncomfortable, covering him with one of the B blankets results in a smile, a sigh of complete satisfaction and relief, and almost immediate heavy lids.  It can be difficult to see those long-lashed lids though, because his preferred method of soothing is to take the blanket in both hands and smother his face with it.  I spend a LOT of time pulling the blankets back off his face.

Family self-portrait :  Thanksgivng Dinner

Everett continues to thrive in his daycare environment.  We prayed and prayed and PRAYED that God would cover Everett protection and love and peace while I was working, and He has been so faithful to grant us that prayer.  We have found MUCH favor with Everett's teachers, and Everett lights up the moment he lays eyes on Miss Jacquie each morning.  Instead of being sad or having a pity party, I actually look forward to drop off each morning because it's so special to see BOTH of them fill with joy a the sight of each other.  My heart is so full to know that Everett is not just cared for, but LOVED, by his caretakers.  Thank you Jesus!

This baby LOVES to look at himself in the mirror.

I'm nearing the end of my 4 days weeks.  Spending 1:1 time with Everett each Thursday has been such a blessing, and I'm sad to know that January will come with a new work and daycare schedule for us all.  I'll be headed back full time, and so will Everett.  Well, that's the plan anyway.  My vacation rolls over in January, so I may try to squeeze one more month of 4 days weeks out of it.

Everett still isn't napping much at daycare, but he does enjoy a night long nap on our way home each evening.  It works out well because he's rested and ready for quality family time when we walk in the door and get smiles and hugs from Chris and Caroline.  We usually try to eat dinner together as a family (Chris has class on Tues and Thurs evenings), play on the floor and read some books, take a walk if it's not too cold/windy), and then start bathtime about 7:30pm.  Everett and I spend some quiet time in the rocking chair, and then he goes to his crib at 8pm.  Nighty nighty Pork Chop!

Speaking of PorkChop... Everett is continuing to lengthen out and slim up.  His cheeks are still chubby and soft and perfectly kissable, but his body is slimmer and longer than I had anticipated at this age.  His little thighs are still round and soft, but even they have slimmed up a little.  I can tell because he used to get stuck in his bumbo seat, but now he just slides right out when I pick him up.  =)

While we're on the topic of the Bumbo seat... he continues to prefer to be "in the mix".  Sitting on the counter while I make coffee and fix dinner seems to be much more appealing to him than sitting in his rocker or bouncy seat on the ground.  We even sit him on the table during dinner time if he'll have it.  (He usually prefers to be held in the evenings... which we're quite happy to oblige!)  Last week when we decorated for Christmas he sat in the Bumbo for quite a while; he was thoroughly amused by the music, the activity, and a LOT of laughter as we tried to string lights on the tree.

Find the baby!

This is a very precious time in our lives, and I am enjoying every moment of this "Season of Firsts" for our family.  We look forward to sharing more of our favorite moments here.
 

Dear Everett,

I grow more and more in love with you with each passing day.  My heart leaps for joy each morning when you greet me with your little no-teeth grin, and that same heart swells with gratitude and thanksgiving each night when I'm able to nurse you to sleep.  

Each night when we pray together, I thank our Heavenly Father that you are well and whole.  I also thank Him for your sweet and content spirit.  I pray that we will live our days in a way that encourages you to pursue Jesus- and to give your heart and soul and life to Him.  

Thank you for loving me.  Thank you for sharing your smiles, sighs, and squeals with me.  You are my littlest love.  

Love,
Mommy